The long-term effect of grief over the loss of a family member.
A recent report about Millennials and Generation X’ers who lost a parent while growing up confirmed what most people already suspected - the impact of the loss lasts a lifetime. A third of those surveyed said, ‘I've never really gotten over my loss’.
On average, it took at least six years before they could be happy and able to move forward again with their lives.
However, when asked about the level of support they received from family and friends, this often disappeared within just three months after their loss.
Unhappily, a further quarter of those surveyed stated;
- support declined after the first week,
- with an additional quarter of those surveyed saying- their support declined after the first month.
Losing a family member can be a strangely isolating experience for many people.
Appallingly, we’ve even seen an occurrence where a large Australian supermarket chain, required its grieving staff member to ‘return to work the day after the death of their parent because of the ‘stores inability to arrange for replacement staff at such short notice’. The words shameful and unconscionable conduct spring to mind.
- While there is no timeline or formula for grief, the reality is we could all benefit from better understanding of how we can be more supportive friends and family members.
Jump Ahead
The #1 mistake adults make with a grieving child
Nobody makes their best decisions during the worst emotional time in their lives - and this applies equally to the children in our lives.
The biggest mistake we see is when people attribute adult coping skills and understanding to children.
Download our free resource for families
Against this backdrop we’ve produced a free downloadable resource, looking at how the youngest Australians, our children, deal with the unexpected loss of a parent.
We review the long-term effects of such a loss occurring during their developmental years and we look at how their families can better learn to understand their child's grief.
The statistical reality in Australia
The sad reality is every day 31 Australian families lose a parent to an unexpected death.
That equates to;
- 217 every week, or
- 11,315 unexpected deaths every year.
Why do we talk about important life matters?
We acknowledge, talking about the possible unexpected death of a parent is often a difficult thing to discuss. But only by breaking taboo barriers and having the important conversations about planning for the unexpected, can Australian parents can have greater certainty about the future security of their family.
- The good news is there are positive steps we can all take to be prepared for the unexpected.
Having a written backup plan in place, just in case, can help safeguard the best outcome for our children’s social, educational, psychological and financial stability should the unexpected occur.
But you can’t make an effective backup plan until you know what to expect.
What we can all do to help a grieving family. Often the simplest acts make the biggest difference to a grieving person.
- Reach out in person or over the phone. While social media might make sharing condolences easier, it's clear a ‘one-off message’ is not enough. Interestingly only 26% of respondents who lost a parent said they used social media to connect with other grieving individuals.
- Be deliberate to send a more personal message of support.
- Share brief remembered stories of their loved ones.
- Try and remember important dates like birthdays and the anniversary of the passing
- Continue to spend casual time with them, and
- Continue to ask how they’re doing and how they’re feeling.
Call us today on 1300 137 403 or email us here for a no-obligation private chat about your situation.
Drew Browne is a specialty Financial Risk Advisor working with Small Business Owners & their Families, Dual Income Professional Couples, and diverse families. He's an award-winning writer, speaker, financial adviser and business strategy mentor. His business Sapience Financial Group is committed to using business solutions for good in the community. In 2015 he was certified as a B Corp., and in 2017 was recognised in the inaugural Australian National Businesses of Tomorrow Awards. Today he advises Small Business Owners and their families, on how to protect themselves, from their businesses. He writes for successful Small Business Owners and Industry publications. You can read his Modern Small Business Leadership Blog here. You can connect with him on LinkedIn. Any information provided is general advice only and we have not considered your personal circumstances. Before making any decision on the basis of this advice you should consider if the advice is appropriate for you based on your particular circumstance.
