You don't have to be a financial expert to realise the vast majority of relational problems have their roots in financial problems.
Financial stressors are responsible for just under 80% of all relational conflicts.
A Relationships Australia study cites;
- 7 out of 10 couples report money causes tension in their relationships.
- Disagreement over finances is a stronger predictor of divorce than other commonly cited causes of marital disagreements.
Unresolved financial issues can lead to blame, anger, stress and intimacy problems in relationshipsRelationships Australia
The connection to Financial Good Health
Our experience has been many people report not feeling confident about their money matters and sharing that with their partner (or their kids).
- Some have never considered whether many common outdated ideas about money may be linked to past parental attitudes towards money. (We call these Moneyisms).
- Many report spending at least an hour a night on their mobile device browsing the web but not reading one article a month on improving their money skills.
- Many newlyweds report wanting to have a deeper money conversation with their partner but feel they lack the structured resources to help do that better.
- Many young families report feeling sandwiched between teaching their kids about money matters but find themselves over spending looking after their own aging parents.
- Many LGBTIQ+ members of the community cite their unique needs are simply not understood by traditional financial advice business.
- And Business Owners report while being confident managing business finances and risks at work, but are less than happy with how that translates to managing their home finances and the normal risks of family life.
Mental Good Health as a Continuum rather than a fixed target
When talking about good mental health, it's useful to see that good mental health is more a Continuum - with a range of variable stages - rather than just a single fixed place in time.
Beyond Blue explains the Continuum example as 'where mental health is at one end of the spectrum – represented by feeling good and functioning well – while mental health conditions (or mental illness) are at the other – represented by symptoms that affect people’s thoughts, feelings or behaviour.'
Because our life and relationships are interconnected, in the same way children's health affects the whole family - men's health affects the entire family as well. It's time to see men's health (all of it) as a family issue too.Drew Browne
Some skills are worth learning before we need to use them.
Whether you’re single, partnered, married or somewhere in between, whether your family is biological or logical, there are ways to improve the protective factors around your good mental health.
- Developing a better understanding of how your own financial world works
- Learning what you're financial options are, and
- Understanding how to better use financial products and services to your advantage.
These are all practical and important protective factors against difficult times and run away financial stress.
You’re not alone - life sucks sometimes.
When we’re talking about good mental health, it's important to ‘call it like it is’.
Everyone goes through a rough patch in life and we all experience different stresses and strains during the tough times. Everyone has times when we feel down, stressed or frightened.
- But sometimes problems don't go away on their own and we might not be able to solve them by ourselves alone.
When this happens it can have a serious impact on a person's work, relationships with family and friends and even physical and mental health.
This is probably the time to learn some new skills from a mental health support service.
Not so secret Men's Business
Although we all go through difficult times in life, often men and women experience the same situations in a very different way.
Many men find it difficult to talk about our emotions and we end up expecting others to ‘just get on with it’ without discovering if the cause of the problem could be removed, reduced or even avoided next time.
- And men often don't know how to ask our mates, ‘what are you doing to get through that?’
- 50% claim to rarely talk about deeper personal issues with friends. 1/3 wish they could open up more to their friends - The Banksia Project
It makes sense to see if there are helpful new skills we can all learn before we actually need them. Perhaps we can even head off some of those financial stress triggers before they become so damaging to our relationships.
Get better informed about managing stress and good mental health
No conversation about good financial advice and becoming more life confident would be complete without acknowledging the very real effect difficult times, stress and strain take upon a family.
- Sapience Financial is a trauma aware organisation and we've designed many of our interactions with our clients, friends, and supporters in ways to help reduce triggers and to improve the way they think about themselves and their life around them.
With some learning and planning, everyone can become more life confident
The Canadian Department of National Defence in collaboration with the United States Marine Corps Department of Psychology developed a framework showing how good mental health is more a continuum and a moving target - not a fixed point in time.
US Marines train for Mental Health - why shouldn't you?
Given that US Marines are trained to the peak of physical fitness and mental health, (while being exposed to the most severe psychological and emotional issues of service), we thought it worthwhile learning about their insights about the importance of good mental health.
The model recognises a range of mental and physical health problems that can affect men during their life. The arrow at the bottom shows the various states of mental health.
So depending on where you are along this Mental Good Health Continuum, there's always a range of strategies you could use to help get you where you want to go faster.
Some Good Advice about recognising problem signs
We've produced five separate articles covering the differences in depression, anxiety, stress, anger and rage, and drug and alcohol abuse, to help advance the conversation about understanding and getting better at Good Mental Health. They appear in our blog under the searchable hashtag #goodmentalhealth or will appear at sapience.com.au/good-mental-health
Immediate resources for Good Mental Health
Tough times come to us all in different ways. However, there are things you can do to get through tough times better and you certainly don't have to do it alone. The most important thing to realise is tough times usually pass and there’s are new skills we can all learn to help us through.
- If reading this has encouraged you to learn more about the types of professional support to help people get through the tough times, why not add one of them to your phones contacts list.
It may not be for you right now, but it's always good to have a way to help a mate out later if they’re going through a particularly tough time and need some extra support.
Links to some mental health resources available for men, their mates and their families in Australia.
13 14 14
1300 789 978
Kids Help Line
1800 55 1800
1300 364 277
1300 22 4636
1800 184 527 & Webchat
Suicide Call Back Service
1300 659 467
Like to get some structure around how to think about your financial life?
We encourage all our clients, friends and supporters to think bigger about who they are and what they have to offer the world.
If you’d like to discover if we’re the type of people you would like to work with, contact us or subscribe to our monthly blog to make sure you're increasing your Good Mental Health protective factors as you learn ways to better navigate the financial world around you and your family.
While life often doesn't actually get easier - we can learn new ways how to manage it better.Drew Browne